Friday, June 8, 2012

Weigh In

I had my monthly OB  check up yesterday with my wonderful doctor, Dr. Sun. I love her enthusiasm about everything! Every time she hears the heartbeat (my favorite sound!) she just beams! It makes me even more excited.

 I was especially proud of myself yesterday because I am 16 pounds lighter this pregnancy then I was at the same time when I was pregnant with Ela. I've been working SO hard at eating healthy, walking 2 miles everyday and doing yoga that it felt so good to find out that it has been worth it.

 I also can't believe it has already been almost 17 weeks and I am almost halfway there. I cant wait for Ela to meet this new little one.

Ela wearing my high heels 

My little water bug 

Ela and her best little friends, Kaylin and Kins

Helping me clean 

Being a silly little lady 

Playing in Rascals kennel. This is what I need at nap time! 

Wearing Papa's shoes 

Her backyard pool set up 

Pushing her frog around 

Playing Rascals doggy kennel... this is what I need to for nap time ! 

Enjoy your weekend!!!

Monday, June 4, 2012

Is birth just an entry into this world?

Since finding out we are pregnant with baby #2, I've been so excited to meet this little one! With Ela, I was nervous and a little scared of being a mom. Such a big responsibility! Dont get me wrong, I was also very excited. As soon as I met Ela, all the nervous feelings vanished and I knew we were soul mates. Since I know that yes, a new baby is a big job but thank goodness God gives us mama's the gift to do it and hence, why I am just mostly excited this time around. Expect for one thing. And I am trying to get over it but to be honest, I am still struggling with all my feelings and emotions.

When I found out I was pregnant with Ela, I knew I wanted a natural beautiful birth. I found a wonderful doula, I already loved my OB and was all prepped and ready for Ela's fabulous entry into the world. We packed a birthing bag, including a birthing ball, soothing music, massage oils, snacks, water and several other things I cant remember now. BUT I was almost 42 weeks and induction was a necessary evil. I was in a lot of pain too, it felt like Ela was head butting me so hard it took my breath away and brought tears to my eyes. Thinking back, I think she was trying to get in position and move down. We started the induction process and it just didnt work. My body didnt respond well to the drugs. The next night I went into labor on my own. Now fast forward two days later Ela was a no show and I was not progressing anywhere. So on November 3rd, 2010 we had a c-section and the most beautiful little 10'3 lbs baby entered this world. At the time, it didnt matter how Ela got here, she was here. We did what we had to and even my doula was supportive of the c-section at that point. I know we made the right decision regarding Ela, there was no alternative. I tried every way possible to get that baby out naturally but it just wasnt going to happen. Poor baby was stuck! I still get emotional thinking about the whole process and just the exhaustion, joy and pure love that is all mixed together. I cant wait to love on this new little one as well!  But I have really been struggling with accepting the fact that I have to have a c-section with baby #2.

 One of my first questions to my OB after Ela's birth was,  do I always have to have a C-Section for the next one? My OB is supportive of VBACs (vaginal birth after C-section), this was one of my questions to her from day one. But in my case, since I did not progress past 3 cn and Ela was clearly stuck (she had two cones on her head from trying to move down) it is most likely a structural issue with me. That is hard to swallow all of a sudden. I keep reading about these beautiful home births and I really want to experience that. I would never risk a home birth after my experience with Ela's birth but the idea sounds so natural and beautiful. I honestly dont even want to risk trying again naturally. Ela was in the NICU for over 6-hours with breathing problems and stuff in her lungs. I didn't even get to hold for that long because of it. I just got to look at her for five minutes before they took her away. This time, it makes sense to just know what your working with and be prepared. I can have as many c-sections as I want, so it doesnt limit the number of kids we want.

My big question to myself is is birth really just an entry into this world or is it more? I am not going to try a BVAC because in my opinion, the risks outweigh the benefits. I need to accept that this is how my baby will enter the world (unless God gives me a miracle and I go into labor and jump to 10 cn and pop out a baby!) .  In the end, I know I love Ela just as much as if I had been able to have her naturally. And I will love this baby just as much too.So yes, to me, birth is just the entry into the world. The rest is a beautiful wonderful thing called family.

Mama Meltdowns

I've been meaning to write about this for a while but for some reason being pregnant has made me feel like I have no extra time. Maybe it's those two hour naps that seem to happen everyday. Oops!

All  the extra hormones when you're pregnant make for an interesting time. I'm sure Jered would be the best one to recount all the crazy things I've said, done or flew off the handle for. The funniest and most recent happened in Franklin, TN when I was visiting Jered's parents.. Jayme was hosting a Stella & Dot for me on Saturday. I dont remember exactly why, but time got away from us and it was about an hour  before the party was to begin. Ela really needed to take a nap and was a major grumps. Jayme needed fresh flowers and a dessert so I volunteered to go to Costo for her, secretly hoping Ela would fall asleep and make my life easier. I wasnt thinking clearly because I had been having issues with my debit card. My bank had just sent me a new one and had promised my same pin would work. If not, all I had to do was call a number and reset it. Easy breezy. I really wasnt thinking because I didnt get a cart. I guess I forgot that everything at Costco is twice is the size of anything normal. And that the bakery was at the blooming back of the store. Ela and I very slowly made our way back there and I found some really delicious looking raspberry treats. They were in a huge box so I carried that and held on to Ela's hand. She being a curious little toddler (hence her nickname monkey) wanted to inspect everything. We were in a hurry and so I had to pick all 30-pounds of her up. I am balancing her and the huge treats, all while fighting through the Saturday Costco crowd. We get to the flowers and I find a beautiful bunch. I am feeling very excited because I have a yummy treat and amazing flowers. We've done good.

I stand in line holding the giant bunch of flowers, enormous box of treats and my 30-pound darling daughter. It's finally our turn and time is running out. I run my card through and beep declined. I try again, and again it doesnt work. At Costco you cant run it as credit so I am thoroughly screwed. We dont use our credit cards and therefore I dont carry one. I literally was out of luck. I ask the cashier to hold my purchases while I step to the side to try and fix my card. She looks thrilled. I dial the number on the card as previously instructed. It is an automated system and keeps telling me I already have a pin and the one I am entertaining is invalid. Press zero to speak to a customer service rep. I am still holding Ela at this point and pushing a hundred buttons of verification. Please verify this and that and your mother's freaking weight! I am getting really upset. I finally push zero to speak to some poor unfortunate soul who really should have not picked up my call. I am already really mad and she makes me verify all my info again. I rudely inform her I have already done this at least ten times, I would imagine you should know it is me by now. She asks what the problem is and I tell her. I also tell her I have been having issues have this bank for over a month now and am beyond upset. She apologizes and then tells me there is nothing she can do. She cant reset a PIN, only the main bank can do that and they are closed for the weekend. As she is saying this, I am watching a group of young boys picking blooms off my flowers. And no one is stopping them. I loose it. I literally start screaming at her. People are staring at me. I am still holding Ela at this point and by now, they've put away my picked apart flowers and sad little treats. I hang up on the women and storm out. I get in the car and start sobbing. I call Jered and scare him to death because I can hardly speak I am so upset. He promises to fix it when he got back to the house. He was out playing golf with his dad and brother. I sob the whole way home and am still crying when I come inside. I think I scared Jayme too because like any normal person, when someone is crying as hard as I an, something very bad has happened. Not just you couldnt purchase flowers and a treat. She gives me a big hug and we end up using Jered's birthday cheesecake for dessert.

It ended up being a wonderful afternoon. Ela never went to sleep in the car (of course!) and scowled at everyone who came over. She finally passed out on me and I laid her down. She woke up a very happy social little butterfly.

The moral of the story is, dont turn off a debit card of a pregnant women. Unless you want to really hear about it.